


Guilt on the Mind and in the Heart

by TheSilverFrames



Series: Reformed Daniel AU [1]
Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Daniel has some bad problems, Emotional Baggage, also the cops and judges in this story are weird, no seriously, reformed Daniel AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 04:37:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11982270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSilverFrames/pseuds/TheSilverFrames
Summary: Daniel has been working at Camp Campball for a month to prove he can change and become a better person. But the guilt from all the horrid things he did is beginning to overtake him. He's convinced he doesn't deserve happiness. David says otherwise.OrDaniel has issues and David ain't havin' none-a that!





	Guilt on the Mind and in the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I've noticed that when people write Daniel as a reformed character they don't tend to focus on his internal stuggle. So, I thought I'd change that! This is my take on Reformed Daniel!

It had been one month.  _ One month.  _ One damned month and it was still there. The guilt was  _ still  _ there. Granted Daniel knew that all this emotional baggage wouldn’t go away within mere days. Hell, even a few weeks! But that didn’t mean he didn’t  _ hope  _ it would. As stated before, Daniel had been a co-counselor for pretty much a month now, after David -the saint he was- had convinced the police and court to give him a second chance. A chance that, in his eyes, he didn’t deserve. He didn’t deserve it at all. Not after everything he did. But nonetheless, David convinced them, somehow, to let him work at Camp Campbell for the rest of the summer, to prove that he could change. Daniel was convinced that the judge would right David off as just some crazy person and dismiss him. But to his complete shock,  _ he agreed.  _ Daniel was given some strict restrictions of course. He wasn’t allowed to be alone with the children. He wasn’t allowed near sharp objects or weapons. If he went into town David had to go with him. Things like that.

Daniel had become accustom to these new rules. While at first it was embarrassing and tedious to ask David or Gwen to cut his food for him, he got over it eventually. At least he was allowed to use forks…dull plastic forks. The only rule he didn’t like was the one about going into town. It wasn’t about the fact that David needed to be present when he went out, oh no, he could care less about that. It was the fact they assumed he’d even want to go to town in the first place. The blond could  _ barely  _ stand the hateful glares and constant angry whispers of the campers whenever he so much as walked near them or the untrusting looks from Gwen whenever he was near the kids or anything that could be considered a weapon. But going to a town where everyone knew about what he did and would more than likely hate him for it.  _ No, _ not happening. The constant glares, looks and whispers had been easy to ignore or put up with in the beginning, but now, after a month of this treatment, it was beginning to take its tole on him.

He would try to put on a ‘happy face’ and act like everything was fine and dandy! But all he got in return were more glares and smart comments, usually from Max, who seemed to be most fixated on him. And he...he deserved it. Daniel would be lying if he said he didn’t. He did so many bad things and for what? A stupid religion that some crackpot probably made up? What was wrong with him? A sigh fell from his mouth as he entered his room in the consulares quarters. He plopped himself on the edge of his bed and glanced over at a nearby mirror hanging on his wall. The face staring back at him was the definition of a broken person. Pale, glossed over eyes, downcast face, he looked pitiful. If he squinted, he could almost see his old self grinning back at him in that mirror. His old,  _ evil  _ self. The him that killed people, poisoned others and many more horrible things. He quickly tore his gaze away from the mirror with another shaky sigh and leaned forward, folding his arms and resting them on his legs. He could hear the face in the mirror reciting all his faults. Some in the voice of the campers and some in his own voice. All telling him how much of a terrible person he was, how he didn’t deserve to be here, how everyone hated him.

The campers hated him, Gwen hated him, the only one at this camp that didn’t hate him was David. David...god that man was a saint. He was constantly happy, optimistic and... _ forgiving. _ He was a nice man...David was better then him. Daniel felt his eyes tear up. David probably never did anything bad in his life while Daniel had done very horrible, terrible things. The tears now began to roll down his cheeks, he didn’t even try to stop them. He was horrible, he was evil, everyone hated him and he deserved it. He deserved all the hatred. He deserved all the harsh comments. He deserved all the angry and suspicious looks. He deserved all the biting remarks. He deserved not to be trusted.  _ He was a bad person.  _ A small sob fell from his mouth. Daniel let his hands grip his arms tightly as he began to shake. He didn’t deserve this second chance! He didn’t deserve to be here! He didn’t deserve kindness! He didn’t deserve forgiveness! He didn’t deserve anything! He-! “Daniel?” The blond’s head shot up to his door. His tear filled eyes widened upon seeing the person that the voice belonged to. David stood in his doorway with his hand on the knob, a look of genuine concern on his face.

“Are you okay?” Daniel gave no immediate answer, merely staring wide-eyed up at the worried brunette. He then had the sudden realization that he’d been crying. He’d been so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t even try to mask his noises or at least attempt to stop them. David became even more worried at the silence the other male was giving him. He quickly closed the door behind him and turned to look down at the teary-eyed man. “Why are you crying Daniel? What happened?” Daniel quickly wiped the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand, however it did very little to stop them from falling. “I-It’s nothing David, I’m fine.” David’s small frown deepened, an odd sight to see on the face of someone normally so optimistic.  “You’re not fine Daniel, what-!” Daniel cut him off with a cold glare. _ “It. Doesn’t. Matter. David. It’s. Nothing.” _ David was taken aback by the blond’s harsh tone, but he quickly regained himself, crossed the room and grabbed the man by his shoulders, looking him directly in they eyes. “Daniel, it does matter. You’re upset and I want to help you. Please,  _ what happened? _ ”

_ ‘He’s such a nice man...he’s so much  _ **_better_ ** _ than me.’ _ Daniel shut his eyes tightly, his face screwed up in anger and pain and his hands balled into fists, gripping his arms tightly, almost enough to bruise. “Nothing happened David, okay!? Do you really want to know what’s going on!?  _ Guilt! _ My fucking guilt!!” David jumped in surprise at the sudden outburst, releasing the other man’s shoulders and stepping back a bit. Daniel used that opportunity to stand from his bed, letting his arms go and balling his hands into tight fists. He glared painfully at David. “I don’t deserve this!!  _ Any  _ of this!! I don’t deserve your kindness!! I don’t deserve to be here!!” Daniel’s body shook slightly. “Daniel...what are you saying? What do you mean you don’t deserve-?” Daniel cut him off again. “I mean I  _ shouldn’t  _ be here!!” He shouted, tears now pouring down his face, his normally pale cheeks and nose flushing an angry red. “I should be  _ dead!! _ I should be in jail, incarcerated, locked up!! I shouldn’t be here!! I’ve done horrible things!! I’m nothing but a psychopath and a horrible person!! I should be in the place that horrible people like me should be kept,  _ in prison!! _ ”

Daniel emphasised his point by gesturing harshly to himself then gripping the front of his shirt. “I’m terrible!! I don’t deserve a second chance!! I don’t deserve forgiveness or trust!! I don’t deserve happiness!! The campers hate me!! Gwen hates me!! People like me need to be put away to keep people safe from our fucked up actions!! All I deserve is to be  _ locked away like the animal I am!! _ ” Daniel’s entire body shook visibly now, his breathing was harsh and his vision was blurry from the constant stream of tears falling down his face. “That’s all I am. An animal.” He whispered, his gaze shifting from David to the floor. He let out a broken sob as his negative emotions began catching up with him, making him feel shameful for shouting at David when the man had done nothing but show him concern. David stared in shock for a moment, replaying the outburst in his head. When the pieces finally slid together, David’s expression softened. “Daniel…” The other man didn’t respond, only keeping his head hung. David couldn’t stand seeing Daniel in this state. He looked...so broken.

David closed the distance between them, pulling Daniel into a gentle embrace. Daniel stiffened up, he didn’t know what to do. After a few moments he melted into the embrace, letting his arms wrap around David and resting his head on his shoulder. The blond threw his dignity out the window and began to cry freely. David rubbed his back and allowed him to let out all his bottled up emotions, the poor man needed it. Minutes went by before Daniel had managed to calm down. Neither men spoke for a little bit until finally David broke the silence. “You were wrong about what you said...about you not deserving anything.” He didn’t get a reply. “I know you don’t believe me, but you do deserve happiness. You may have done some bad things, but you're trying to change. You’re a good person, I can feel it.” Daniel’s face hardened slightly. “I called you a nobody.” He mumbled into the man’s shoulder. “That’s in the past, I already forgave you.” Daniel shook his head. “But I-!”

“Daniel,” David started, pulling away from the embrace, grabbing his shoulders again and giving him a serious look. “I know what you’re going to say and it’s not true. You do deserve forgiveness. Everyone deserves a second chance. When I was brought into that courtroom I saw something in you. _Regret._ You admitted to what you did and expressed your regret. If you truly were all those things you said, then you wouldn’t feel any regret, you wouldn’t feel bad and you wouldn’t want to change. Why do you think I spoke up?” He spoke in a serious tone, one Daniel was very surprised to hear. Seeing David of all people looking and acting serious was flooring and strangely...comforting? He couldn’t quite explain it. “But...you’re doing this for no reason. You’re showing me all this unrelenting kindness and trust, but for what? You should’ve let me go to jail, I’m nothing but a burden to you.” Daniel let his gaze fall to the floor. He was a burden to David, a _pest,_ something that should be squashed without a second thought because it brings nothing but annoyance and disdain. “Daniel, look at me.”

The blond did as he was told, looking back up at the brunette with a pitiful gaze. “Do you know why I’m doing this Daniel? Why I’m letting you work here? It’s because I  _ want  _ to help you. I  _ want  _ to help you change. I’m not doing this because I  _ have  _ to. I’m doing this because I  _ want  _ to.” He emphasized his statement by pointing at himself. “I wouldn’t be doing this if I believed you were a truly bad person. You can change Daniel, but you have to stop putting yourself down in order to do that.” He pulled him into another hug. “You deserve happiness, everyone does. The campers my not trust you yet, but they will eventually, it’ll just take time and until then I’ll be here to help you get there. You can change, I can see it. What you did was in the past, you need to start working on the present. I want to help you Daniel, please let me help you.” Daniel didn’t respond for a few moments. He was...shocked. David actually cared about him, he wasn’t just doing this as a job, he actually believed in him. 

Daniel’s eyes teared up again,  _ someone actually cared. _ “Okay.” David grinned when he heard the answer. Yes! He got through to him! Now he could properly start working on helping Daniel become better. The embrace lasted a few more minutes before the two separated. Daniel was smiling softly and rubbing the tear stains from his face. “Feeling better?” Daniel laughed. “A hell of a lot better than I was an hour ago.” David frowned and pouted at the other man. “Hey, language!” Daniel laughed again.


End file.
